Much Ado About Nothing by William ShakespeareMuch Ado About Nothing, abridged.
CLAUDIO: So, um, Hero, I sorta maybe like you a whole lot will you go to the prom with me?
HERO: We should get married! Squeeeeeee!
BEATRICE: Pfft. Love is for stupid losers who are stupid.
BENEDICK: You know, you might get laid more often if you weren’t such a cynical bitch all the time.
BEATRICE: Fuck you.
BENEDICK: Get in line, sugartits.
*audience is beaten over the head by sexual tension*
DON PEDRO: Hey everybody, I had a great idea! Let’s make Beatrice and Benedick fall in love!
EVERYONE: YAY! MEDDLING!
PRINCE JOHN: So, I think I’m going to break up Claudio and Hero.
BORACHIO: Really? That’s your dastardly scheme? How do we possibly benefit from that?
PRINCE JOHN: No, see, I don’t like Claudio because my half-brother likes him, and I hate my half brother, so…wait. Okay, so it’s actually a really pointless plan that only serves to create conflict. But it’s the only way I get any good scenes in this thing, so MISCHIEF AHOY!
BORACHIO AND CONRADE: YAY!
BEATRICE: Hey Benedick, you still suck donkey balls.
BENEDICK: I fart in your general direction! Now go away or I shall taunt you a second time!
BEATRICE: I dont want to talk to you no more, you empty-headed animal food trough wiper!
PRINCE JOHN: So guess what Claudio? Your woman totally cheated on you. I saw, I was there.
CLAUDIO: OMG I HATE THAT WHORE.
DON PEDRO: Despite the fact that he’s a bastard in all senses of the word and has no reason to be helping me or my friends, I think we should believe John without proof or even asking Hero’s side of the story.
CLAUDIO: Hero, you’re a shameless whore and I hate your stupid face!
PRIEST: Great job, now Hero’s dead from sad.
CLAUDIO: OMG I AM SO REMORSEFUL. FORGIVE ME, DEAD HERO!
HERO: Pysche! I’m really okay!
BEATRICE: Luckily THIS time the priest’s idea to fake a girl’s death to solve all her problems actually worked, instead of backfiring horribly.
BENEDICK: Hey, that’s pretty funny. You know, I guess you’re not that bad. I think I love you, and stuff.
BEATRICE: Yeah, I guess I kind of love you too.
ANTONIO: Close enough. Now off to kill Prince John!
Love's Labour's Won School Synopsis
Don Pedro is the Prince of Aragon. He has just won a war against his illegitimate half-brother Don John. Read more Don John is a bastard, in both the legal and ethical senses of the term. The essence of his character is that he is evil. He is from Florence, though he has an emotional uncle living in Messina.
Much Ado About Nothing is a comedy by William Shakespeare thought to have been written in and , as Shakespeare was approaching the middle of his career. The play was included in the First Folio , published in By means of "noting" which, in Shakespeare's day, sounded similar to "nothing" as in the play's title,   and which means gossip, rumour, and overhearing , Benedick and Beatrice are tricked into confessing their love for each other, and Claudio is tricked into rejecting Hero at the altar on the erroneous belief that she has been unfaithful. At the end, Benedick and Beatrice join forces to set things right, and the others join in a dance celebrating the marriages of the two couples. In Messina , a messenger brings news that Don Pedro, a prince from Aragon , will return that night from a successful battle, Claudio being among his soldiers.
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3 Minute Shakespeare: Much Ado About Nothing
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Leonato, a kindly, respectable nobleman, lives in the idyllic Italian town of Messina. Leonato shares his house with his lovely young daughter, Hero, his playful, clever niece, Beatrice, and his elderly brother, Antonio who is Beatrice's father. As the play begins, Leonato prepares to welcome some friends home from a war. Don John is sullen and bitter, and makes trouble for the others. Meanwhile, Benedick and Beatrice resume the war of witty insults that they have carried on with each other in the past. Claudio and Hero pledge their love to one another and decide to be married.
In Messina, as Don Pedro, the Prince of Arragon, and his officers return from a recently concluded war, a message comes to Leonato that the prince intends to visit his house for a month. Don John plots with the soldiers, Borachio and Conrade, to deceive Claudio into believing Hero is false to him. Hero and Don Pedro meanwhile are convinced that Benedick and Beatrice are ideal partners and by means of overheard conversations the two realise they do indeed love one another. At the wedding Claudio denounces Hero and leaves her apparently dead from shock, while her father, Beatrice and Benedick, amazed at the situation, decide that with the aid of the priest. Help is at hand as the village constable, Dogberry, and his assistants have arrested Borachio and Conrade after overhearing them boasting of their deception of Claudio and the Duke.